silentkiller.mp3

So this is what happened: I was sitting here, typing up the previous blog with my window open, right? It's a nice ass day, so I was like, "Hell, why not?" When I hear a buzzing noise. I look out my window and see a silhouette of an insect....specifically, a bee (Or a hornet. Or fucking death. I'll go with death.) I jumped out of my fucking seat like someone was shooting at me from outside and grabbed my mom's slipper on the floor, keeping both eyes are the damned thing the whole time. I waited patiently, shaking by now as the thing flies around my room frantically.

...it takes post against my window, searching for God knows what. I move in closer...closer...closer.

BAM!

I nearly missed as the thing goes crazy, hesitatin and flying around on my window, behind the curtain.

BAM!

I hit it again. It's paralyzed by now. I set a base with my curtain and it falls onto it. I could see the stinger going in and out like it was trying to have sex with my finger. Grabbing it by the wing, I put it on a piece of paper and bring it downstairs to show Darryl.

Him: *backing up* "AW! WTF IS THAT?!"

Me: "I don't know! A fucking bee or something."

Him: "AW! IT'S STILL MOVING!!!!"

Me: "AW!....let's torture it."

We proceeded with the torturing by pouring everything from toothpaste to Nivea's Lotion for Men onto the body, covering it completely with a blue mix of goo. You could see the legs of Fighter trying to kick out of it. As we helped him out, he tried crawling away, but was unsuccessful. He eventually died and we made a "pool" for him out of the sink. He floated for a bit, then stopped moving. So after several attempts to drown his already-dead soul, I gave him a good CRUNCHHH! with a Tinactid can. Ewwww. These are the results:

"Helppp meeee"

INTESTINES! Sweeeettt.

So yeah. That's it. Ended his life with one good flush of the toilet.



Should I be expecting a call from PETA soon?